“A quality
teacher-student relationship means more than the combined power of all teaching
and discipline techniques known to humankind.”
Love and logic
Teacher-ism
I love this
quote! Establishing positive
relationships with your students, while creating a community where students have
relationships with each other, will truly benefit any classroom atmosphere. Quality teacher-student and student-student
relationships increases effectiveness of classroom management and
instruction. It also makes everyone’s
experience more enjoyable. I am fortunate to work with a faculty that views positive relationships as the most important consideration within their classrooms, creating environments where students want to spend their days.
Teachers are exceptional at building relationships in September; however, the trick
is to maintain those strategies throughout the year. I encourage all of you to continue making our schools a place where students and all stakeholders feel welcomed. We want every person who walks through our
doors to believe that they are going to have an amazing experience! Below are 10 ways to support positive
relationships within your classroom and school.
Enjoy sustaining positive relationships… it is the most important
thing we can do for learning!
1.
Morning
Circle Time – Many of our teachers have morning meetings to start the
school day. Creating a morning meeting,
allowing for students to learn about each other beyond school life, builds a
classroom community of genuine respect and rapport. Daily questions can focus on student
backgrounds, culture, interests, events of the weekend, favorite foods/music/movies/games,
special events, etc. Becoming familiar
with each other on a deeper level will support student self-awareness and
acceptance of differences, which will decrease the likelihood of relationship
issues during the school year.
2.
Classroom
Motto – One teacher at our school starts the day by reciting the classroom
motto. He tells the students to push the
button on their desk and all student proudly recites together, “feel good about yourself!” Students truly feel good about themselves… not
because they say it… because of the sustained teaching that goes along with
saying it, creating a community of students who feel good about
themselves. His students feel good
about: being a good classmate/friend, the effort they put into an assignment, learning new vocabulary words, solving
problems on their own, being a good son/daughter/sibling, improving their
writing skills, understanding their target learning, etc. It works because it is a consistent approach
implemented with empathy and support.
3.
The
Unlikely Student – It is “easy to connect” with students who demand your
attention due to an outgoing personality, academic needs, or behavioral
problems. Something to consider, write
one student’s name in your plan book each day (those who do not demand your
time). Make sure you are connecting with
that child throughout the day by noticing their effort: “Wow! Johnny did a great job on the writing
assignment because he added exceptional detail”… and share those accolades with
the class. Notice things that go beyond
school life: new shoes/shirt/haircut, asking about weekend, sporting event,
video game, recess, family, etc. It is
important that you have a plan to connect, because if you don’t… the “easy to
connect” students will demand that time and the “unlikely” student will not be
noticed.
4.
Student
Inventory – Look for the uniqueness of each child – Create a student inventory
asking simple questions, such as:
·
What do you like to do outside of school?
·
What is your favorite season?
·
List 2 of your favorite foods.
·
List 3 games you like to play.
·
What is your favorite animal, color, sport?
·
List your favorite type of music.
·
Do you like to read? What type of books do you
like?
·
List 3 movies you like to watch.
·
Who do you like to play with/why? Friend, parents, grandparents, sister,
brother, other.
·
What is your favorite part of the school day?
·
What is your least favorite part of the school
day?
·
What is your favorite special/subject?
Higher level inventory questions:
·
What are your dreams?
·
What do you want to be when you grow up?
·
Who would you consider to be your hero and
why?
·
If you had unlimited money and could only use it
to help people… who would you help and why?
You get the idea! I
am sure there are many other questions you could list. Creating a student inventory can be helpful
for many aspects within a school setting (creating academic plans, project
based learning activities, writing topics, child study team meetings, behavior
plans, interest level differentiation, etc.); however, I believe the most
important reason to use a student inventory is to show your class or individual child that you care about their opinions and life beyond the school
day.
5.
Positive
Proximity – Greet your students each morning with a smile and a
friendly hello. Seems simple because it
is! It is also much better than asking
“do you have your homework?” Be present
during independent work, supporting students and noticing their efforts
throughout the day. It is even ok to
stop by the cafeteria (gym is where we eat lunch) or even shoot a basket or two
during recess, positive proximity doesn't need to stop in the classroom. The extra 2-3 minutes of positive proximity outside
your classroom will enhance the community feeling that you are establishing in
your classroom.
6.
Active
Listening – When we are busy it is easy to send students on their way with
a quick response, knowing that you would give a better response if you had the
time... we do this as parents too! Next time try saying this: “Your question/need/etc. is really important
to me and you deserve more time than I can give right now… can you hold on for
a few minutes/after lunch/until tomorrow/etc. and I will give you the attention
you deserve.” If you say this with
empathy, the child will usually feel validated and will (most likely) wait for your
attention… sometimes it gives them time to problem solve on their own. Obviously, don't use this approach if there is an emergency or safety issues.
7.
Tone
of Voice – Be aware of tone, volume and cadence when teaching and
managing your classroom. Use a softer delivery when managing behaviors
and classroom procedures, planning and using nonverbal cues. Use voice fluctuation, storytelling (instead
of lecturing), and suspense during your classroom discussions. Students will love it! I have been in a lot of classroom where I
didn’t want to leave because the tone was so engaging. Your voice can set the relationship tone
(positively or negatively) within a classroom.
Charlie Brown’s teachers were funny but I don’t think they were building
any relationships with their tone of voice.
8.
Teach
and model gratitude/manners – Many of our teachers focus on manners and
gratitude, modeling the appropriate way to speak with each other and supporting
a culture of respect and rapport. Teach
the power of “thank you” and “you are welcome” within the daily practice of
your classroom. These are simple
phrases that express appreciation and value for one another. Modeling and expressing appreciation for each
other can have a powerful effect on your classroom relationships. Thank
you for making it part of your daily interactions!
9.
Humor
– It is ok to laugh, smile, and tell an appropriate joke from time to
time. Children want to see us having
fun! A morning joke can go a long way to support positive feelings. We have children
telling Friday jokes on the morning announcements, it’s a lot of fun!
Q: What did the ground say to the earthquake?
A: You crack me up!
Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.
Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: So, what's your point!
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do we smell carrots?
Q: What did the one eye say to the other eye?
A: Don’t look now but something between us smells.
Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane?
A: Because he wanted a higher education!
Q: How did the music teacher get locked in the
classroom?
A: Her keys were inside the piano!
10. Closure to the day – Facilitate a
reflection discussion at the end of each day, showcasing the academic and social
learning that took place. Give accolades
to individuals for positive effort and remember the happy and/or humors moments
during the day… maybe even tell your corny joke again. Set goals for tomorrow and end the day by
saying “be kind to one another,” supporting and modeling the positive feelings
you are establishing within your classroom. Make this a
consistent conclusion to your day and they will be eager to return in the
morning.
I hope you find this list helpful. I appreciate everything you do each day to
sustain a welcoming environment at our schools and in your classrooms! Teachers are great!!!!
I will leave you with this Love and Logic Quote:
Rules provided without
relationship result in rebellion.
Consequences given
without relationship lead to resentment.
Rewards without
relationship feel like bribes.
Love and Logic Teacher-isms
Enjoy teaching!
Keith Howell
